Chaos Theory

I saw a photo on a friends blog yesterday. It was on his interesting (recommended) blog. Jest a cell-phone snapshot. Folks walking at night in the bright-lights of NYC. The photo was entitled 'CHAOS'. This inspired thinking on this concept...chaos.

Its a good name - context is everything for sure. As an aside, in terms of inspiration, it make me think. Actual chaos is hard to represent - it seems to only reside in the abstract condition of the human heart. Everything else has an order because everything is created or made - even the intention to create is order - intention presupposes order. But these people in the photo create a tention against order...In their hearts..."maybe I can suddenly walk in the street instead"..."or put out one of those lights with a rock"..."what if she was my girlfriend instead?"...."I could use a beer"..ok, that thought was mine ;-)

Once, some time back, I remember sitting on a pier and studying Luke. Luke was a black lab and our station mascott. He was gifted at swimming and catching tennis balls in his mouth as fast as you could throw them. He was also adept at sleeping and eating. That was Luke.

Our unit was semi-famous for collecting, when we could, jumpers off the Golden Gate bridge - one a week average. Some experts came down once to visit us with their own statistics. The Suicide Prevention agency for the city. They said that interviews with all (all) failed suicide victims report that in that last split-second...a reason to live suddenly came to them. Most were relieved that it had. Their problem? They required a reason to live.

What would Luke say if he knew that? How perplexed he would be. He might look around to try and help these creatures who were so out of order. He would see some with desparate looks on their face....climbing a corporate ladder....home-schooling their kids 10 hours a day....drinking too much....adopting 15 handicapped children....organizing a PETA rally....blogging their brains out....some busy....some catatonic. Luke was a bright old lab. I bet he would eventually understand. He would look up to the top of that bridge and see an honest but tired person standing there groping for a reason not to jump. Then look under the bridge and see another honest person asleep there...clutching his empty bottle.

A Study of the Village....Christian

Happiness. What is it?

Blessed ('happy' is accurate Hebrew meaning) is the man who puts his trust in the Lord.

Happy....happy. Is contentment the same as happy? Content is the man who puts his trust in the Lord..... despite the job, people, relationship problems? Money problems. Overwhelming evil in the world. Content is the man...man can only only be happy and content when he puts his trust in the Lord?

For tomorrow...what if tomorrow is crappy? Would he let it suck if I put my trust in him? yeah...he could. In all things pray...pray a desperate, I ain't content - prayer.

I have learned to be content, the Apostle Paul says...but...Paul was never content outside the context of that scripture...about money. Can a man reflect Gods heart in this world and be content? No.

So then, happy is not equal to content. Happy is to content as Grace is to an 'act' of mercy. Happy...is a daily dose of life-sustaining trust while sitting in a bowl of cow-patties. Being content in a bowl of cow-patties is....weird.

Random Matters...

Funk. Everything you know and everything you want to know more about - don't matter. You know the number of your blessings - they are in your face. That doesn't matter. You are inconsolable, discontent. Any fix is an offense. Any offense is too small to impact you. What is a life-ring to someone for whom a lifering - dosen't matter?

I jumped 40 feet (I was told) from a helicopter one night into some pretty cold waves. Literally too stupid to fear.

I twice grieved a loss so extreme - and recoverd.

I was puzzeled once fishing a pair of black cordarory pants out of the San Fransico Bay. They still had legs in them. How do you...feel....about something like that? The wallet said he was Vietamese and a mental patient.

I use to fly planes and get lost. Landing in strange places...regularly.

I was alone hiking Old Woman mountain in Kodiak Alaska. I toted a six-pack, stick, and hockey-skates. At the top was a lone frozen pond. I tied my skates on, opened a can and threw a puck out. I skated about aimlessly pushing the puck about, drinking, thinking (I guess). Content.

I walked across a campus very early one morning thinking how perfect my paper on Carter Foreign Policy was. The more I walked I found areas that were questionable. Still walking I then wondered about the nature of truth. How maybe all these truths might imply an ultimate truth....then there came a sudden swooping sound of wind by my head - and a 'thud' sound. I stopped and looked down to see a dead white dove. I looked back and the hawk that flew by my head landed on a tree. He stared at me standing there with his food at my feet. I was puzzled...but somehow, it mattered.